Seems a little harsh right? I know I know, but hear me out. If you’re ready and open to a perspective shift that can literally CHANGE YOUR LIFE, keep reading.
I promise, it’ll be worth it.
I want to tell you all a little story, lets go back in time:
It's 2015. My husband had been unemployed for a few months and the tension in our household was high. We had purchased our dream house a few months before, and one month after we closed escrow my husband lost his job. My son was about a year old and I was in the thick of diaper changes, play dates and no sleep. Moms, you remember that stage, yeah?
I was working behind the chair part time. And my business, well, let’s just say it was suffering.
I had my own private suite and clients were canceling left and right. My books were wide open. Money was no flowing and to top it off, I was miserable. Post partum depression had me by its grips and it was difficult to see any light at the end of the tunnel.
Then one day, my husband sat me down to have a talk.
Given the state of our marriage, my mental health and the money tension in the house, this “talk” terrified me.
I was convinced my husband was going to ask me for a divorce.
He had combed through our finances and dissected my business’ profits/losses. He showed me, in plain sight, what my business was doing.
I was operating at a loss of over $1200 every month.
I knew things were bad, but I didn’t know how bad they were.
Then the dreaded statement…”Maybe it’s time for you to get a job”
A job? I remember thinking to myself…I have a fucking career, I don’t need a JOB.
But that career…if i’m being honest, it wasn’t a career. It was an idea, a dream, a goal…and IT WAS SINKING. FAST.
I remember feeling so offended, so triggered. (Back story, when I decided to go to beauty school, my father and grandfather sat me down and tried to talk me out of it. “Hairdressing is an industry for “dumb” people. You should be a lawyer, a doctor, anything. This won’t make you any money, you should get a real job, a real career”)
I acknowledged everything my husband was telling me, but deep down I was fuming.
The clients cancelling left and right, my books being wide open, the fact that I was broke…none of that was my fault. I justified every reason why my business was not thriving and lived in that victim and angry state for a few days after “the talk”.
Then one night, everything changed. Literally.
It was in the wee hours of the night, my son sleeping on my chest because he REFUSED to sleep anywhere else, and a thought came to me. “It doesn’t have to be like this”
As I felt the rise and fall of my sons chest breathing on me as he was sleeping, I broke down.
It doesn’t have to be like this.
I remembered everything I had learned about mindset, and personal development and personal responsibility, I looked back over the last few years…dissecting where I had strayed, where I had gone wrong, and where I was falling victim to everything.
And I realized one thing:
I was the problem.
ME. I WAS THE PROBLEM.
Where I was, in that moment, broke and uninspired, it was ALL ME.
-My clients were canceling because of ME. (Honestly, who would want to get their hair done by a stylist who was so negative, so uninspired, so “out of it”)
-My books were wide open because I had done NOTHING about it.
-MY BUSINESS WAS FAILING because I had paid ZERO attention to it.
I WAS THE PROBLEM.
And then, in the middle of my breakdown…tears, snot, the works….the thought that came to me, so life changing, so simple yet so complex…
I AM THE SOLUTION.
If I am the problem, then surely, I AM ALSO THE SOLUTION.
EV-E-RY-THING changed that next morning.
My attitude, my energy, my perspective, my outlook, my finances, my business, my whole life CHANGED the moment I realized that I AM THE SOLUTION.
I share this story, because it was such a benchmark moment for me in my life. It was when I owned my personal responsibility and the power that I had over my life that everything changed.
So when I say..YOU ARE THE PROBLEM:
I am asking you explore that. Because it’s very easy to play the blame game, even the justifiable blame, but let me tell you this, when you BLAME, you lose.
I was losing, and I was losing BAD because NONE of it was my fault. I was absolutely powerless when I was being a victim to my life. When I chose RESPONSIBILITY for my life, that’s when the magic began.
The energetic shift in my mindset and perspective, coupled with the fact that I “refused to get a job” created monumental change and propelled FAST.
Within months, my business had completely shifted. The inspiration and the passion I thought I had lost, resurfaced with a VENGEANCE and I have reaped the benefits in other areas of my life. My marriage, my physical health, my mental health, all of it was on the upswing because I felt EMPOWERED.
The perspective shift changed my life and I know it can do the same for you.
THIS is why I am so passionate about helping you feel empowered.
So I ask you…
-where in your life are you playing the victim card?
-Where are you blaming someone or something else?
-Where are YOU the problem?
I know it’s there. Identify it. Shine the light on it, acknowledge it.
And then, the magic, lean in to the thought “I am the SOLUTION” and watch your life change.